The Power of Two
The power of two. Maybe there's three.
Day one, no change. I did yoga and he missed me. He could have joined me. He wants to get a motorcycle. He's looking for where he belongs. I am looking for connection into one person. He's trying to find himself, I'm looking for someone like me. I think it could be E. There's adventure and a drive for life there. Instead of broken survival, maybe there's drive to live everyday like it's the last. Enough trama to see value but not enough to cause havoc.
I'm grasping. I found someone as odd and imagined as I am but I don't want to be with him past a few hours. I really want my alone time. Will it always be that way? I miss him when I can't talk to him but that's young interest, what happens when they fades. What happens when my sexual validation is too old to be used? What will I have then? A marriage built on the financial goals to the common hobby or a different one I can't seem to envision yet. What does the game magic entail? How does counting macros and a consistency to self affect everyday life? Is there natural adventure there? The gathering place, is that somewhere we'll go? If I give him me now, will he want it later. Will I lose my friend? I've missed having a friend. Husband doesn't count any more. If we weren't married, we'd stop talking a long time ago. But does E ever talk beyond the pants? He made it clear what he wants, that's fine but I he mental, emotional, and intellectual connections. That can the lead to a physical one. How do we keep it going? Am I secretly waiting until May? That's 10 months, plenty of time to make a decision. How tainted will they decision be of we cloud up the water? I crave him so bad, I want to own him, I want to break him. I also want to save him from me.
Did you get to use the mat? Will this tell me all I need to know? Is my game off because of desperation or am I actually willing to help him? I crave him, I know that. He wants kids, it'll never work. So can I hide him until he's ready for someone new? It would cost me a lot of husband trips but he misses the mountains anyways. Would a few times a year be enough, no. But what am I really wanting?
Could I actually handle him or is he full if shit too? Just looking for a vessel? Must of them do, but isn't that what I'm looking for?
Day one, no change. I did yoga and he missed me. He could have joined me. He wants to get a motorcycle. He's looking for where he belongs. I am looking for connection into one person. He's trying to find himself, I'm looking for someone like me. I think it could be E. There's adventure and a drive for life there. Instead of broken survival, maybe there's drive to live everyday like it's the last. Enough trama to see value but not enough to cause havoc.
I'm grasping. I found someone as odd and imagined as I am but I don't want to be with him past a few hours. I really want my alone time. Will it always be that way? I miss him when I can't talk to him but that's young interest, what happens when they fades. What happens when my sexual validation is too old to be used? What will I have then? A marriage built on the financial goals to the common hobby or a different one I can't seem to envision yet. What does the game magic entail? How does counting macros and a consistency to self affect everyday life? Is there natural adventure there? The gathering place, is that somewhere we'll go? If I give him me now, will he want it later. Will I lose my friend? I've missed having a friend. Husband doesn't count any more. If we weren't married, we'd stop talking a long time ago. But does E ever talk beyond the pants? He made it clear what he wants, that's fine but I he mental, emotional, and intellectual connections. That can the lead to a physical one. How do we keep it going? Am I secretly waiting until May? That's 10 months, plenty of time to make a decision. How tainted will they decision be of we cloud up the water? I crave him so bad, I want to own him, I want to break him. I also want to save him from me.
Did you get to use the mat? Will this tell me all I need to know? Is my game off because of desperation or am I actually willing to help him? I crave him, I know that. He wants kids, it'll never work. So can I hide him until he's ready for someone new? It would cost me a lot of husband trips but he misses the mountains anyways. Would a few times a year be enough, no. But what am I really wanting?
Could I actually handle him or is he full if shit too? Just looking for a vessel? Must of them do, but isn't that what I'm looking for?
The power of two, duality, dark & light
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